Why I Refuse to Pee in the Rain

Heather here. Yesterday, I gave Scottie Mom a test. It's a test I give her every once in a while to be sure she's a true Scottie Mom. The test begins on any given rainy afternoon and ends when I'm convinced her patience can't take any more. On these afternoons, Scottie Mom comes home to walk Mr. K and me. I act all excited like I normally do and I Scottie scoot my way down the stairs and out the front door. Once I get down to the driveway, though, I notice the pit-pat of the falling rain and make a mad dash for the door or the nearest covered area. Then, I stand there and stare at Scottie Mom with my most pathetic looking eyes so she feels pity on me and takes me back inside where it is safe from the horrid rain and, best of all, dry.

The problem is Mr. K likes to walk and do his duty...even in the rain. I don't. Even if I haven't peed in hours. Why, you ask? Well, let me put it this way: when was the last time YOU peed in the rain (and liked it)? If I pee in the rain, my hair gets messed up, I get all sopping wet and then, Scottie Dad accuses me of being extra stinky (he says I'm stinky all the time but it is worse when I come in from being out in the rain). That's just not how a girl wants the world to see her, is it? So, there I sit, under the cover of whatever is protecting me from the rain that day and Scottie Mom begins her plea: "Come on, Heather. Please, Heather? I know you have to pee, little girl. Just a quick pee and then we can go back in, I promise. Heather!"

Scottie Mom doesn't have a pretty raincoat like I do so when she begs me to take care of business, I do feel bad for her. She gets just as wet as I would if I didn't have the protection of my pretty, blue raincoat. The funny thing is that Scottie Dad doesn't call her stinky when she goes back in. Still, I choose to sit out of the rain and, if possible, I'll pee right there where I'm hiding from the rain since it is dry. Sometimes, with this new Scottie House, that's not possible. There aren't too many dry spots when it rains and I've had to learn to speed pee to avoid catching too much rain. Scottie Mom says I'm getting better at peeing in the rain at the Scottie House. She doesn't understand, though, that I still don't like it: I only do it when I know that patience of hers will run low soon enough. (Plus, let's face it: a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.)

It's a hard test, the one I give Scottie Mom. Most times, she passes. Sometimes, she gives up and takes us back to the house which is okay with me, too, because then I get to be dry. Those days, though, Scottie Mom has to be extra careful and make sure we go out again the minute the rain stops because my poor, little female bladder can't wait that long and she sure doesn't want to have any accidents in the house. Although, admittedly, they sometimes happen...like I said, it's a test and it certainly isn't an easy one. Alas, Scottie Mom's patience usually persists and Mr. K and I are able to relieve ourselves on our schedule and on our own terms. And, once I see Scottie Mom pass the test with flying colors, I try to let go and throw her a bone every once in a while and surprise her by peeing the minute we get out in the rain. (I turn around and run right back to the house when I'm done, of course.)  This can't happen every time, though, then she'll think taking me out in the rain is acceptable behavior and that, my friends, just isn't so.